Everyone Needs A Little of This in Their Lives
AT&T VIRUS:  Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS:  Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS:  This revolutionary virus does not horse around.  It warns you of impending hard disk attack - once if by LAN, twice if by C:/.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS:  Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS:  Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS:  Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS:  Divides your hard drive into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

GALLUP VIRUS:  Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time.  (Plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)

TEXAS VIRUS:  Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS:  Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS:  The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

AIRLINE VIRUS:  You're in Dallas, but your data ends up in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS:  Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.

PBS VIRUS:  Your programs stop every few minutes asking for more money.

ELVIS VIRUS:  Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.

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